I cried all the way here. When I fell asleep, I woke up crying. I keep thinking I've cried myself dry, so I wouldn't have to cry in front of people who might ask me what's wrong. But the tears keep on coming. They won't stop, as long as I drink enough water to keep myself feeling alive. What am I supposed to do with myself??
And I thought goodbye would be easier if I had time to come to terms with the idea. I don't know whether or not it really was easier, but it was/is still hard as hell. I don't think I've ever let myself get this down over any single person before. My insides feel as though they have shattered to pieces. I want to talk about it and yet I don't. I find myself wondering whether an angry goodbye would have been less heart-wrenching, whether it would have been more tolerable. I guess I'll never know. What I WILL find out, I think, when this stage is through, is whether or not it was all worth it. I already have an idea what the answer might be, but in my current state of mind, it's hard to convince myself that it's true.
Yep, this is what you get after 3 weeks without a single update (and months without any real news other than ramblings about pens).
And I thought goodbye would be easier if I had time to come to terms with the idea. I don't know whether or not it really was easier, but it was/is still hard as hell. I don't think I've ever let myself get this down over any single person before. My insides feel as though they have shattered to pieces. I want to talk about it and yet I don't. I find myself wondering whether an angry goodbye would have been less heart-wrenching, whether it would have been more tolerable. I guess I'll never know. What I WILL find out, I think, when this stage is through, is whether or not it was all worth it. I already have an idea what the answer might be, but in my current state of mind, it's hard to convince myself that it's true.
Yep, this is what you get after 3 weeks without a single update (and months without any real news other than ramblings about pens).
- Mood:
melancholy
So I guess I'm graduating in 3 days. It's almost overwhelming to think about. I'll miss being a student. Sure, I'll go back to grad school (or plan to, anyway), but it'll never be the same.
I'm moving to Chicago, or at least, I think I am. Unfortunately the apartment agency I decided to use (because they had the best apartments) is very unorganized and so my apartment contract hasn't been finalized yet, even now. I hope I hope I hope it gets done before the week is over. If it turns out I don't get the apartment, I don't know what the heck I'd do... beg on the streets with my 15 boxes of stuff by my side?
Anyway, it's so great to be done with finals, but now I gotta pack pack pack. But since I'm going to California for a couple weeks and coming back to Appleton the same day I am to move into my apartment, I need to use storage that I can access (immediately) on July 1. That means LI storage. And that means I need to be done packing by 5pm tomorrow. More like, I'll need to be done packing by 3 or 4pm so I can get my all stuff into storage by 5. Ugh. I haven't started yet, and I don't know how I will. There's barely space in my room for me, let alone big boxes of stuff.
So that's why, even now that everything's done on the academic side, here I am, at 7:25am, up and about--showered and all, getting ready to get crackin'. Woo? Woo.
I'm moving to Chicago, or at least, I think I am. Unfortunately the apartment agency I decided to use (because they had the best apartments) is very unorganized and so my apartment contract hasn't been finalized yet, even now. I hope I hope I hope it gets done before the week is over. If it turns out I don't get the apartment, I don't know what the heck I'd do... beg on the streets with my 15 boxes of stuff by my side?
Anyway, it's so great to be done with finals, but now I gotta pack pack pack. But since I'm going to California for a couple weeks and coming back to Appleton the same day I am to move into my apartment, I need to use storage that I can access (immediately) on July 1. That means LI storage. And that means I need to be done packing by 5pm tomorrow. More like, I'll need to be done packing by 3 or 4pm so I can get my all stuff into storage by 5. Ugh. I haven't started yet, and I don't know how I will. There's barely space in my room for me, let alone big boxes of stuff.
So that's why, even now that everything's done on the academic side, here I am, at 7:25am, up and about--showered and all, getting ready to get crackin'. Woo? Woo.
I can't stop listening to these two songs.
| Edge of the World The Crüxshadows I walk alone at night, raindrops and streetlights reflecting flashes across the asphalt in a second's time, I might refrain from breathing with her hand in mine, something is breaking faster through a blackened sky, I see a world unravel I look into her eyes to see the end in a second's time, the walls swim cold electric with a tearful smile, she whispers my undoing in the hollow night, I find no trace of comfort I turn just in time to see the end I walk the edge standing on the velvet edge looking backwards in the rain I wonder just how many times I've watched you walk away all that fascination bleeds - is a piece of infinity in frustration still believing what I know will never be in a second's time, I might refrain from breathing with her hand in mine, something is breaking faster through a blackened sky, I see a world unravel I look into her eyes to see the end in a second's time, the walls swim cold electric with a tearful smile, she whispers my undoing in the hollow night, I find no trace of comfort I turn just in time to see the end I walk the edge blurry eyes growing weak fading with the light of time piercing nothing to redeem the emptiness with lies pride has raped the sorrowed heart and stolen what I love, though the cut is digging still how much deeper it could go... in a second's time, I might refrain from breathing with her hand in mine, something is breaking faster through a blackened sky, I see a world unravel I look into her eyes to see the end in a second's time, the walls swim cold electric with a tearful smile, she whispers my undoing in the hollow night, I find no trace of comfort I turn just in time to see the end I walk the edge Why did you come here, just to break my heart again? I walk the edge ------ Why did you come here, just to sever my last remaining thread - Why did you come here just to watch me fall again? I walk the edge ------ Why did you come here....? I walk the edge... |
Dragonfly The Crüxshadows Her voice fell tired and spent "My hopes and dreams, a silent heart I carry here within" her outstretched wings, left tattered A sail aged with rust "a breath in time, that's yours and mine... it belongs to only us" And I will write her name and cast it to the sky silhouettes recede into a mother's tearful eyes a host of angels clamor to her side a light dissolves to kiss the wind release the dragonfly See the rose within the field of white She's searching for the grail but the rain descends to snatch the light from distant dying suns a faint resounding in the night calls angels wings to beat singing silent lip-sewn songs but the distance is too deep .. And I will write her name and cast it to the sky silhouettes recede into a mother's tearful eyes a host of angels clamor to her side a night dissolved to kiss the wind release the dragonfly And I will write her name and cast it to the sky as precious moments will slip away in time angels fall from grace, and sometimes heroes die but tonight, my love, ascend the gates, release the dragonfly And I will write her name and cast it to the sky silhouettes recede into a mother's tearful eyes a host of angels clamor to her side a night dissolved to kiss the wind release the dragonfly And I will write her name and cast it to the sky as precious moments will slip away in time "sometimes angels fall, but love will never die tonight my soul is something more" - calls the dragonfly. |
- Music:The Crüxshadows - Edge Of The World
ugh. getting them to work together was painful. so to make sure i have an easier time if i ever have to do it again, here's the relevant info:
source: http://karlpox.com/?action=viewpost&id=67
To integrate MySQL GUI tools on WAMP follow the instructions below.
1. Download the GUI Tools to be used on this page.
2. Download the one with the "Without installer (unzip in C:\)".
3. Extract the one you have downloaded.
4. Copy it to your C:/wamp
5. Click on Start and then run.
6. Key in regedit then press enter.
7. Go to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE > SYSTEM > CurrentControlSet > Services > wampmysqld
8. Right click on the ImagePath.
9. Take note of the value because the version of MySQL might change. For example mine is.
c:\wamp\bin\mysql\mysql5.0.51a\bin\mysqld-nt.exe
change it to
c:\wamp\bin\mysql\mysql5.0.51a\bin\mysqld-nt.exe --defaults-file=c:\wamp\bin\mysql\mysql5.0.5 1a\my.ini wampmysqld
source: http://karlpox.com/?action=viewpost&id=67
I got my Sheaffer Valor today. It's supposed to be my graduation gift from my mom, but I got it early so I'd have time to send it off should I need a repair or nib replacement or some such modification to make it even more perfect. Anyway, it's been in the CS house for 2 weeks, because it arrived earlier than expected, so I had Dan hide it away for me for a while. Meanwhile, I got myself more and more excited about it, and now that I finally have it, I'm bursting with excitement! I'm ecstatic, I'm delighted, I'm I'm I'm...
Anyway, since I'm clearly in a "honeymoon" period and can't be counted on for an unbiased, objective review suitable for the FPN review forum, I'll post an FPN-style review here whether you care to read or not ^.^
( this turned out to be pretty long... )
Anyway, since I'm clearly in a "honeymoon" period and can't be counted on for an unbiased, objective review suitable for the FPN review forum, I'll post an FPN-style review here whether you care to read or not ^.^
( this turned out to be pretty long... )
Posted this on FPN a while ago, figured I might as well keep a copy for myself, considering the time it took me to think and type up all of this. The numbered ratings were established by the starter of that thread, and are as follows:
1: Really only the best
2: Very very good
3: Good
4: Reasonable
5: Disappointing
1: Really only the best
2: Very very good
3: Good
4: Reasonable
5: Disappointing
- Sailor Chalana in stainless steel. Steel F-5 nib. - 4. Probably way too slim for most people. Good heft considering its size. Not the most consistent writer (also depends on ink--works better with Sailor ink than Noodler's). Not suited for most of my writing because the nib dries out fairly quickly if I stop writing for even a moment. Sometimes leaks ink into the cap.
- Sheaffer Fashion in orange/yellow ring pattern. Steel F nib, 23K gold electroplated. - 2. Nib has a somewhat small "sweet spot" for my liking, but other than that it's nice. I like it a lot. Also fairly inexpensive.
- Parker Sonnet in matte black CT. Steel M nib. - 2. Until I get this reground, it's too broad for me. But it's wonderfully smooth, and I love the low-key design.
- Parker 51 Vac in dove gray, circa 1947. 14K F nib, writes like a very wet medium. - 3. A pain to clean out. Nib's wayyyy too broad for what's supposed to be a Fine. Will get reground, but otherwise good.
- Waterman Carene Deluxe SE prussian blue. 18K F nib. - 1. One of my favorites right now. Just the right size and weight, writes a lovely, consistent, true fine line.
- Pelikan M400 in white/tortoise shell (aka "Honey"). 14K F nib, pretty wet. - 1, maybe 2. I like it a lot, but the white parts make me afraid I'd get it dirty/stained. Oh, and the plastic cap is known to break a bit easily.
- Sailor pocket pen in light blue, circa 1970. 14K F nib. - 2. I carry this in my pocket and it behaves well. But obviously, it holds very little ink, especially with a converter.
- Lamy Safari in charcoal. Steel italic 1.1mm nib. - 2. Too light for my liking. Design's not the best, either. But it writes very well.
- Waterman Phileas clear demonstrator. Steel F nib. - 3. Works OK, but nib also seems to dry out, both when capped and when uncapped. Of course, it takes longer to dry when capped, but I use this pen for grading once a week, and it takes a few squiggles to get it starting, and if I pause for a bit, it misses half to a full down stroke when I start writing again. Plastic cap may with use as it has no ring to protect it from spreading cracks, I don't know yet.
- Hero 360 in light blue. Steel 360-degree F nib. - 3. Not the most consistent, but what do you expect? It's Chinese and it's cheap. And the 360-degree nib is more like a 270-degree-or-so nib. Not bad, but not great, either.
- Lamy Studio palladium. 14K XF nib. writes like a medium--holy macaroni! - 2. Okay, I love the design and weight and everything about this pen, but seriously... that XF nib is NOTHING like an XF. It's more like an M. That needs fixing. Yeah.
- Pilot/Namiki Vanishing Point all chrome. 14K F nib. - 1. Another favorite. Nothing but praise for this one.
- Bexley Simplicity in teal pearl. Steel F nib. - 1. Also a darling of mine. Absolutely lovely finish, nib is amazing, and doesn't dry out if left uncapped for a little while (5 minutes should be okay, I think, and that's enough for me).
- Sheaffer Snorkel Sovereign, 1950s. 14K F nib. - 2. Hint of tooth, but not enough to be a real issue. The line is true to size, and I can't get over how nifty the snorkel mechanism is.
- Sailor Professional Gear in black with rhodium trim. 21K EF nib. - 2. Just got this yesterday, so not a lot of experience with it yet. So far, so good. Nib *may* be a bit too fine, but maybe I'll grow to love it. I like finer lines, anyway.
- Pilot Crystal in red (or more like pink, really, because it's clear plastic). Steel F nib. - 5. Yes, disappointing. Sure, I wasn't expecting much for the price, it was very cheap. Still, it was a Pilot, and I had hope. But no. Surely this is a bad apple, as I've seen this pen recommended by some folks on FPN, and the overall experience seems to be fair enough. But mine was scratchy. Not toothy, like the Sheaffer, but more... well, it just feels like it doesn't want to move across paper, and the inkflow wasn't good. I've only tested it with one ink, though, and a pretty controversial brand of ink, at that (Noodler's). So at some point, I should probably see how it fares with another ink in it, to give it a fair chance at being a reasonable writer, if not superb.
for my own book-keeping... if it entertains you, well... =P
The Flock™ (in order of acquisition, more or less):
Wishlist (likely to take forever and a half to fulfill, considering prices):
Inks:
The Flock™ (in order of acquisition, more or less):
- Sailor Chalana in stainless steel. Steel F-5 nib.
- Sheaffer Fashion in orange/yellow ring pattern. Steel F nib, 23K gold electroplated.
- Parker Sonnet in matte black CT. Steel F nib.
- Parker 51 vac-fill in dove gray, circa 1947. 14K F nib.
- Waterman Carène Deluxe SE prussian blue. 18K F nib.
- Pelikan M400 in white/tortoise shell (aka "Honey"). 14K F nib, pretty wet.
- Sailor pocket pen in light blue, circa 1970. 14K F nib.
- Lamy Safari in charcoal. Steel italic 1.1mm nib.
- Waterman Phileas clear demonstrator. Steel F nib.
- Hero 360 in light blue. Steel 360-degree F nib.
- Lamy Studio palladium. 14K XF nib. reground to a true XF (originally more like a medium).
- Pilot/Namiki Vanishing Point all-chrome. 14K F nib.
- Bexley Simplicity in teal pearl. Steel F nib.
- Sheaffer Snorkel Sovereign, 1950s. 14K F nib.
- Sailor Professional Gear in black with rhodium trim. 21K EF nib.
- Pilot Crystal transparent red demonstrator. Steel F nib.
- Visconti Millennium Arc II. 18K F nib. My first LE fountain pen (#935/1000).
- Caran d'Ache Dunas, shiny blue. Steel F nib.
- Sailor Sapporo Mini (aka Professional Gear Slim Mini) in black with rhodium trim. 14K EF nib.
- Sheaffer Valor in burgundy. 14K F nib.
- Platignum No. 1 in gunmetal. Steel M nib.
- Marlen Sydney in purple. 18K F nib.
- Esterbrook LJ in blue. 9550 nib (steel iridium point, EF).
- Laban Expression in Harvest Yellow. Steel M nib.
- Pilot Petit1 in violet. Steel F nib. Not that there was a nib option or anything :P
- Ohto Tasche in pink. Steel F nib.
- Enamel pen (Unknown maker, but probably English). 14K #6 Warranted nib. Flexy!!
- MontBlanc Meisterstück Classique 144, black with gold trim. 14K M nib.
Wishlist (likely to take forever and a half to fulfill, considering prices):
- Bexley Americana in Rio Grande Red
- Pelikan M625 in red
- Sailor Professional Gear in some non-black color
- Visconti Kaleido Voyager with 18K nib
- Waterman Carene Islands - Lagoon
Inks:
- Noodler's Eternal Luxury Blue
- Noodler's Eternal Hunter Green
- Noodler's Swishmix Glacier Blue
- Noodler's Swishmix True Rouge
- Noodler's Polar Black
- Noodler's Whiteness of the Whale
- J Herbin Scented Violet
- J Herbin Scented Apple Green
- Private Reserve Burgundy Mist
- Diamine Mediterranean Blue
- Diamine Passion Red
- Diamine Yellow
- Diamine Quartz Black
- Caran d'Ache Colors of the Earth - Grand Canyon (Brown)
- Caran d'Ache Colors of the Earth - Saffron (Orange)
- Custom mix: 2 parts Diamine Mediterranean Blue, 5 parts Diamine Yellow. Nice blue-green/sea-green shade.
I'M SO EXCITED!!! after some hardcore begging and pleading on my part, my mom has just finally agreed to get me what i requested for my graduation present--a Sheaffer Valor fountain pen in pearly burgundy!
i have been lusting after this pen for the last couple of weeks, and it is one of the (if not THE) prettiest pens i've ever spied with my little eyes. and reading the reviews just made me want it even worse. hefty, well-balanced, with a semi-flex inlaid nib... and that delicious finish! *drool drool drool drool* problem is, it costs $200. yikes, right? so yeah. now that i know i'll be receiving this little marvel upon graduation (provided i don't piss my mom off too badly in the intervening time), i don't know how i'll wait until June!
that's all i got. just wanted to share my excitement. and yes, i am a dork. AND PROUD OF IT!! woo! ^.^
i have been lusting after this pen for the last couple of weeks, and it is one of the (if not THE) prettiest pens i've ever spied with my little eyes. and reading the reviews just made me want it even worse. hefty, well-balanced, with a semi-flex inlaid nib... and that delicious finish! *drool drool drool drool* problem is, it costs $200. yikes, right? so yeah. now that i know i'll be receiving this little marvel upon graduation (provided i don't piss my mom off too badly in the intervening time), i don't know how i'll wait until June!
that's all i got. just wanted to share my excitement. and yes, i am a dork. AND PROUD OF IT!! woo! ^.^
- Mood:
ecstatic
These claim to be real excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. i'm skeptical about their existence (due to the extreme stupidity displayed--i prefer to be optimistic where people's intelligence is concerned though i've often seen otherwise), but in any case, i found them hilarious, so enjoy:
1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
Syndicate
Profile
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
dumdummuoi- Dumdum